In the week that Oasis cynically reformed to pay for Noel’s divorce many people were asking, 'Is it a bad idea to get the band back together? ' Motley Crue did it and that didn’t go well.

Speaking of Motley Crews, many famous faces assembled for “one last dance” it was inconceivable that balls would not be kicked over the boundary whilst fielding, catches dropped, run outs and all the tricks deployed in search of an honourable defeat.
At this stage the only three shops we all need are Specsavers, Boots and Greggs – specs and drugs and sausage rolls.

Immediate sympathy went out to the young players drafted in to give an air of respectability to the side. The Ollies, Zach, Andy Mellington thank you..

Everyone else reminisced about why we started doing this, except for one player who reminisced about why he stopped having just realised what an epiphany is…..

Good to see some familiar faces on the oppo especially Terry and the Beer boys as well as tour legend James who managed to stay away from ditches the whole game. He had just come back from taking a cow for a very long walk through a field of grapes – that’s right he had herd it through the grapevine. (Sorry Headmaster, I know that doesn’t really work.)

Olli H and Chris opened the batting and got the side off to a decent start Ollie scored an elegant 30 and retired ready to return almost immediately no doubt. Andy M batted briefly looked comfortable and then carelessly flicked a catch to someone who can actually catch.

Maynard joined Yeldham and swung wildly as is expected catching 6 edges and being the recipient of some charitable fielding (was that ball kicked over the boundary?) before retiring not out.

Simon next man in and a few blows before being controversially given out lbw by Umpire Mellington. Two hours later VAR opined and the decision may have been a little unlucky.

Ollie K provided a brief cameo with Chris still holding down an end. Sadly he then wasn’t holding down an end anymore as ball made contact with stumps he’d batted securely for about a week for his 18.

Zach had joined the fray when Ollie K was out but as Thomson strode to the wicket he couldn’t imagine that very soon he would have had three partners without facing a ball. Thomson taking the “last dance” advice too seriously swung and missed a ball at the stumps and was gone – a golden last dance.

Robin got off the mark with a quick single but again fell to a bowl sneakily aimed at the stumps.

Meanwhile Zach had opened his shoulders and the pavilion was in mortal danger. Several mighty blows and he also retired not out with an impressive strike rate

Former skipper, ex VC Strudders now strode to the wicket and played a typical innings elegant late cut, couple of singles, couple of boundaries, elegant late cut into someone’s hands..

Club legend Phil last man in but safe in the knowledge that there were three potential returnees.

What happened next can only be described as legendary, a 3 run at Outwood (Phil sacrificing an achilles in the process) and then a lovely 4 off the middle of the bat as he was rejoined by Ollie H. Several more might blows from Ollie who would finish on 50 and the innings closed at 202 – more than respectable.

A fantastic tea as ever for the TP game and much chat, very little of it about cricket. Thomson chatted to Rush about birds, he had been out birdwatching with Sinead O Connor before she died “Its been seven owls and fifteen jays”

Back to the field and some early strong bowling from the brace of Ollies resulted in early wickets for each.

Zach bowled at pace and tested the Former skipper ex VC’s mobility behind the stumps with Phil standing at slip counting his blessings. One wicket didn’t feel like enough for the spell.

Skipper Knight was the pick of the bowlers (aside from the comedy ones) taking three wickets with a tidy spell demonstrating the benefit of still playing cricket (if that is indeed a benefit) Wickets fell regularly and a win looked possible. In the field not much happened catches were taken – Zach’s caught and bowled being special. No real comedy fielding, nothing.

Thomson at least engaged in his familiar verbal shedding

In desperate search of comedy Knight asked Maynard to bowl an over or two of filth which he duly obliged. To enhance the fun he asked Thomson to bowl from the other end with Kingerlee also joining after Greig’s over and actually bowling properly (show off).

Comedy bowler Maynard then saw a ball flicked to the safe hands of Ollie H and next ball took an unlikely caught and bowled.

Sadly this brought the actual batsmen back as the rest of the TP Allstars were out. No hattrick for Maynard, to no ones surprise but his failure to send the Knights a Christmas card seemed to result in him having to bowl six overs. Siri, give me an example of unnecessary.

Note to Andy M, expect to bowl about 15 overs in next years game….

With the TP Allstars having brought guns to an arm wrestle the two main batsmen brutalised the bowling over the last few overs to secure a one wicket victory all played in the traditional excellent spirit.